There is no right or wrong way to grieve!


"Grief occurs whenever an attachment is broken. Grief is triggered whenever you must leave behind someone, something, a function, a way of life, a dream, or anything else you've become attached to and do not want to live without." - Amy Florian.

You will experience grief if any of the following are triggered or in transition.


  1. Material: loss of a physical object, personal and/or sentimental possession, or familiar surroundings
  2. Relationship: partial or complete loss of a human or animal relationship
  3. Intrapsychic: loss of a dream, whether the focus of the dream is oneself or others
  4. Functional: temporary or permanent loss of a physical, cognitive, or mental capability
  5. Role: loss of one’s customary identity or “place” in a family structure, work organization, faith center or other setting
  6. Routines: loss of the familiar structure in one’s life 
  7. Systematic: loss of faith in an entire system


Intuitive: experiencing grief more in your heart than your head.

  • Likely to express and talk through your grief
  • Likely to process and tell their your story repeatedly
  • Likely to journal
  • Likely to seek out support groups or others with similar situations
  • Likely to ask:
    • Who can emotionally understand and advise me?
    • Who can I talk to about my feelings?
    • How can I process this so I don’t hurt so much?
    • What books can I read so I know I am not alone?

Instrumental: experiencing grief more in your head than your heart.

  • Likely to face facts
  • Likely to take action
  • Likely to remain objective and analyze the experience
  • Likely to go at it alone and seek individual counseling
  • Likely to ask:
    • What concrete actions do I need to take to get through this?
    • How can I manage my grief and move on?
    • How can I keep my emotions in check so they don’t hold me back?
    • What can I read to help me learn how to cope?

Through studies, women tend to be intuitive grievers and men tend to be instrumental grievers. Make no assumptions, men can be extremely intuitive grievers while women can be strongly instrumental grievers. Knowing your grieving style can help tremendously with your coping and healing methods.

Learn more about these topics in Amy Florian's book, A FRIEND INDEED: HELP THOSE YOU LOVE WHEN THEY NEED IT MOST